Kindness goes a long way in this world, there is no doubt about that. Do you know who it is most important to be kind to? The person that has always been and will always be there for you? Showing kindness to this person will have the greatest affect on your life guaranteed! This person is YOU! I know it may sound silly but showing kindness to yourself is the greatest gift you an give yourself and in turn the world. Why you may ask? No one knows or cares how kindly I treat myself. Oh, contraire my friends! Showing kindness to yourself reflects in your everyday life more than you know. 

When we think about kindness it is usually thought about in an outward manner. Something you do or say for or to someone else. Like giving a compliment or holding the door for someone. We rarely ever think about it in terms of giving that same kindness to ourselves. What we fail to realize is treating yourself with kindness is the most important act of kindness of all. This is because when we are kind to ourselves, it helps create a positive internal environment, which in turn creates a positive external environment.

Let me explain. Think about the times when you were the most kind to others. How did you feel at that time? Were you happy? Sad? Angry? Sick? Excited? Most likely you were feeling good in some type of way. Now think about when you were the least kind. How were you feeling then? Probably not very good. See the connection? 

When we feel good we want to make others feel good. And vice versa.

What is a way that you can help yourself feel good? Being kind to yourself!

Bringing awareness to your inner dialogue is a big step in treating yourself with kindness. The sad thing is most of us aren’t aware of how unkindly we speak to ourselves because we are so used to it that it feels normal. 

I was shocked at how I was speaking to myself once I brought my awareness to it. I was down right nasty at times. 

We speak to ourselves sometimes in a way we would never dream of speaking to another person. Think about that.

What we need to realize we are our own best friend, partner, and greatest teacher. Lets start treating ourselves this way.

Start by bringing your awareness to your inner dialogue. How are you speaking to yourself when you make a mistake? When something doesn’t go your way? Or when you are trying to motivate yourself? If you drop a glass and it shatters are you forgiving? Saying glasses break, mistakes happen, try and focus on one thing at a time. Or are you saying “oh you clumsy!” “pay attention, damnit!”?

Words and thoughts matter! The thoughts and words used internally matter most because they affect how you feel and how you feel affects how you act.

After you become aware of your internal dialogue you can then choose the way you would like to speak to yourself. As a general rule of thumb I try to speak to myself as I would a beloved friend. If a friend broke a glass in your house you would yell and be mean? Probably not. You would forgive and understand it was an accident. 

I like using the close friend as an example because you show kindness to them but are also honest and candid. Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean you’re not learning and being honest. You’re just doing so in a different manner. 

For example, your friend is super busy and is trying to be everything to everybody and is exhausted and their cup is empty. You wouldn’t sugar coat it and say “you’re doing your best and everyone knows that”. You would say “you’re doing too much! You need to take some time for you. Only when your cup is full can you give to others.” 

Being kind yet honest is the key. 

This is where the balance of being kind to yourself and keeping yourself moving forward is achieved. 

So next time you want to dig in on yourself stop and ask yourself, am I being kind? If the answer is no, rephrase from love and move forward from there.

Remember, showing kindness to yourself is just as important if not more important as showing kindness to others.

I hope you enjoyed this post. It is the first in the kindness series so stay tuned! Be sure to share this with someone who may need it. Thank you for reading. Stay well my friends!